I gave it a lot of thought but there was a nagging feeling that said I should not go in the direction that I was heading. I asked for more information in an attempt to clarify things but there was no information that could be given. that lack of information may have been the information that I was looking for.
the path that I was considering may have actually been a good path; but just not for me. so I made the call that felt more like a break up call to say that it was over and that I wanted to stop the application process. and then I looked around to see what else I could do because I still want to move forward, just not with an art school. I have found another program that I feel very comfortable with, it’s not artistic but as a student I can still purchase the adobe software and like with the previous graphic software programs that I have used, I can teach it to myself.
this is actually a big break through for me. I am a habitual “finish what you start person” and have been reluctant to accept that sometimes you just need to change your mind and stop. and the best place to stop is where you are when you realize that you need to change; not after you have devoted more time and resources to accomplishing more within said bad decision. for some reason it feels a little weird to ask for another letter or recommendation from the same people but then how many people only apply to one school??? maybe all this time I’ve been the weird one when in truth this whole option exploration thing is actually more common than not.
the cliché in all of this is that I recently celebrated my 40th birthday and since then I’ve been more decision and have had a very welcomed clarity. I can honestly say that right now I do not know where exactly it is that I am going but that I do feel very good about it.