FOMO realized

warning: this is going to be one of those venting / whining / personal-resolution blog posts.

The Saturday before last I was driving to and from the south of Illinois to pick up my oldest at the end of her summer session.  (Saturday is the group long run of the training week.)  The original plan was to make up my long run on Sunday; but my running partner was not feeling up to 12 miles back to back.  By the time this was all figured out the sun and humidity had risen to a very undesirable level and I settled for some speed work at a track near by.

The good news is that I noticed a faster pace during my subsequent weekly runs, the bad news is that the speed work and possibly the “give” of the track caused a large blister to develop at the back of my heel.  I noticed the discomfort but the the blister felt deep and fully encapsulated with skin so my internal direction was to wear socks with more cushion and continue with training.  Because I had just missed a long run the previous week and the next long run was a half marathon I was determined to stick to training and all was going well.

BAND-AID BLISTER GEL GUARDTraining went very well but after Tuesday’s run I decided I should add one of these wonderful gel bandages for good measure (these things really are heaven sent when it comes to shoe caused blisters); my blister was larger than the bandage.  I ran anyway on Thursday.  Despite the size of my sub-dermal blister I didn’t feel it much while running so I kept running.  After Thursday’s run I knew that there was a problem; not only was my blister no longer sub-dermal it had also burst.  I also noticed that the interior of my shoes had a tear in the fabric behind my heel.

The good news is that at the end of the day the store where I had purchased the shoes replaced them (I was sold a pair that was too small for running).  The bad news is that I now had a brand new pair of shoes (read NOT BROKEN IN) and a large blister the day before my first 13.1 mile long run.  I did my best to “break in” my new shoes by wearing them the night before the run.  Morning of I got up, got ready and headed to the lake.  Upon my arrival I took a quick and short jog and felt as if my new skin was tearing.  I came to the resolution that I could not run.  :(  Yesterday was an absolutely beautiful day, maybe a tiny bit warm but gorgeous!  Instead of running I volunteered to man the gear check for the team.  The worst part was being there as everyone came back and knowing that unlike all the other newbies, I had not run my first half marathon (in opposed to having a “now infected” patch of skin that would keep me from running, possibly walking, for a few more weeks).

FOMO1-1
first of many DeAnne, “first of many” I remind myself

Hiccups (injuries) during marathon training are par for the course and if a large blister is the worst thing that I will have to deal with I consider myself to be very blessed.  My current goal is to be ready to run next Saturday and to be back on track for the remainder of my training.

I am a large advocate of listening to my body, I always have been and I always will be.  What really sucks is that I can walk and possible run just fine, so long as I am wearing footwear that does not touch my heel . . . moving forward I will baby my feet a little more:

  • I will keep them moisturized (dry skin is more prone to friction blisters).
  • I will check the inside of my shoes for fabric tears (the fabric rolls up and creates hot spots that even cushioned socks cannot compensate for).
  • I will apply body glide to my feet before every run.

It’s almost funny how much I am missing running.  Two Saturday’s in a row with no long run and I’m experiencing some serious FOMO.  Next Saturday we have a charity “6k for Water” (3.72 miles) followed by a six+ mile training run for a total of ten which means no half for me until the mileage jumps to fifteen miles two weeks from now on August 12th; it sounds like a lot but I know that I’ll be okay even though my current longest run is ten miles.  I will continue to stick to the training schedule, STAY HYDRATED and will eat (fuel) responsibly.

My mind wants to do this and my body can do it!

 

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what just happened??


NeoCon, corporate entertaining, alumni events, graduations and training derailment. 

I have missed two morning runs and a couple of workouts. I might be too tired to really feel bad and I know that after this week I’ll be back on track:

I need to get a (multiple) good nights sleep, stay hydrated, eat vegetables, wear flat supportive shoes and get back into my training routine. This time next week – I’ll have a whole new story!

torn

perfection is a myth that drives many mad; I know that true perfection does not exist but I cannot stop holding myself to ridiculously high standards that I never meet.  I am depressed.  my life looks nothing like what I think it should look like and I try very hard to get it on track but I am still standing in the same place, only exhausted and drained.  I know that only I can snap myself out of this funk, and I try, but I am still here and the longer I’m here the more I fear loosing the few people who are close to me and the more that fear looks real the lower I sink.

I am torn because I need to lighten up on myself and at the same time I need to be more.  my expectations are not terribly high, they are realistic and seemingly obtainable.  they also seem to be our of my reach and the idea of seeking for what I have and never trying for more makes me feel beat and stupid for ever thinking that I was better than this.